Just my thought


Will she accept that i'm inked
Will she accept that i'm smoking
Will she accept my past when i told her
Will she guide me back to the right path
Will she accept me of who i am..

I just thought about my further. I cant even visualize the path i'm walking.
I couldnt want to be paid 1000$ plus every month.
I couldnt want to be staying on like this
I want to change.

But just speaking does nothing.
I use to cut down my smoking but fail
I use to stop drinking so much but fail
I use to think of saving money but fail
I use to think that i will no get inked but fail
Everything i do had failed.

I told myself since i experienced it already, i should stop doing it..
But thing turns the other way round...None of my friends and my mother know about it. I dont even write what i done in the past here. Lot of things are better to be keep by myself than writing here. It always left in my heart to remind of what i have done. Regret is always not a excuse to use but to learn from it. I have learn part of it.
That just my thought....

Totally no mood.. Ytd i called him that i will be late due to blah blah blah.He told me that no staff working, so no choice i have to come. WTF i reached, he went prawning in working time. Said to be back latest by 7, fuck your dick head. 930 den he come back which all the crowd is over. Well i just tahan abit more. Left 1 mth to go.. Still can said oh u can handle. If my pay same like him, i can accept it. I cant even stand long due to ytd jumping. knn chef.

He knew that people are against him now, trying to be good man asking us to drink after work. No choice have to entertain him for 3 days drinking wif him alone. All throw me to entertain.. =.= Lucky td i train back with sister. If not i will be sitting there drinking wif him, listening to him talking rubbish.



Did this few days back. Scallop with Parsley Butter topped with Garlic Chips

I want to save up money. Talk to my lao da about my further last week. He said that he can recommend me to oversea to work and experience. But i will not be pay only allowance. Was thinking how.. Money money money ahh...... Headache... I just want to experience for 1 year.

My legs are sored from walking and jumping the dragon. Td went to my second uncle funeral. Lucky i got my off day at friday which is his last day of funeral.


GoodBye uncle!

Many thought run into my mind, when this question was asked.

Isn't that i do not want to take the first step.
It because thought are fooling me.

I cant change for that because that me
I cant spare extra time for that because my career come first
I cant give her the best because i think that way
I cant make her happy forever..
Friends will always be a better choice. =)

That just me! I always thinking this and that which make a relationship impossible now. That what i choose to be. I'm happy with what I'm now.

Let see what i done td.

Wake up at 4 and meet ws and alvin in ss at 5. Went to buy stuff for tonight steamboat as to celebrate ws belated birthday.
Reached ws house to prepare the food.
Everyone reach and we start our steamboat. Ws had his first surprise by drinking the bowl of chili by mixalogist liang. He thought that i was making tom yum paste for the soup. HAHA!! KW and MY mixed a bowl for him too. All raw plus coke and green tea. After that was playing big 2, total drink 12 glass of water which make me damn full. =.= Water change to vodka... I still have the post drunk system from Tuesday, so i nvr drink.
Everyone started to left. Only left iz, dar, cs and ws talking inside the room. It always fun to talk about the past thing we done.

Anyway let have a outing again next time..........

Ytd was drinking at restaurant, ended up in Atlantis and Social House. Was too drunk and high after that. Only get to reach home at 6, slept for 2 hrs work again.

Everytime i go there, my thought never stop thinking.
I told you, i will stop visiting there
I told you, i will stop everything just for you
well that just talking, i cant do that. I'm sorry i break my promise.

You seem to disappear from my sight, why suddenly appear from nowhere. I don't get it. Enough is always enough. You changes my life to upside down now. Thank!

Was so good boy ytd night. Just purely drinking plus puffing.

I left less than 2 month before i complete my attachment. Cant wait for it.

Before i start my work in banquet, i must plan a outing with lollipop gangs. We must meet before i enter NS.

Ytd i forget my "smoke less" campaign while at Atlantis. So tired working td where there so busy. All my mise-en-plus gone. NO bullets to fight tml.

Everyday work, nothing much happening. See my ah pek face everyday which is a force for me. Left 2 month!!

Cassis



If time could rewind and stop, i think working with them is the most happy thing.
I will never start work late and never complain that too tired. Although the time spent tgt is short, but the bond in us is always the strongest. We could squeeze tgt to sleep in the afternoon. We will help one another when needed. We will relax tgt in the forest puffing away. Cassis may not be the best restaurant, but it has the best team.


My chef is always willing to teach. He never believe in scolding. He never want to see me giving up. He always contact me every week without fail. I want to work with him again. I want to learn from him. After i finish my attachment, i will go find him.

I felt so shameful for you, Mr. Ah Pek. You fucking disgrace our team. You did not know how to buy people. You only use ur strength to force people. If only in the first place you talk nicely, i will stay to help you. My paper wrote that 9 hr of works inclusive of 1 hr break, but what you said just now?? Work morning cannot have break and staff food. Fucker, i dun mind your food. I can buy myself. Even your right hand man also said you are unreasonable. Good that you have to work. You never learn what is call humbleness, all you know is "You are the best" actually you are just nothing.

I never want to leave like that, you just make me walk out of the kitchen.
You just make the team suffer.
You just make yourself look stupid.
You just make me reach my limit. thank you ah pek!!

Something bad happen ytd in work. Because you are sleeping and lost your shoe, you fuck everything up. You choose to blame on people without finding the evidence. You choose to challenge him, but i choose to interfere. Dun tell me where you from, i dun care. I just want every one to work together. Ya I'm in no state to interfere, but i just dun wish everyone is working alone. Out of anger, you gave me a punch, i accepted it. You never want to think for others. Hope you can wake up after the talk ytd.



Ytd went to drink with my sisters, iz, kw and dick. Was playing the drinking game, ended up become a merlion. First time from nose also come out. =.= never tried before this stunt. BUt i'm sorry to cause trouble to you guys. I never like to be in those ah lian ah beng pub. Boat quay changed alot since the last time i went. I like going to thai pub where there live band. People there are more friendly. Next outing SHISHA!!!!

Pyramid of Prawn and Avocado Salad



Goat Cheese, Prawns Cocktail and Beef Tartare.

I think I more healthier cause i cut down from 1 pack per day to 3-4sticks a day. Haha. Trying to save some money up. Life has been good recently because ah pek is on leave for 5 days. I can do my work in peace without him around.

Last Sat trained back with my sister, and went to 515 slack with them. Time past very fast with them. After everyone left, continue slacking with kw and cs. Thing wont turn out dis way if only... well i'm not in the shoe to say anything but friends are still friends.
Friends are the one that accept your attitude, but please do your part... You are not doing ur part but avoiding and sowing that your are not wrong. Stand in your feet and face it. Friends are there to help you, but dun rely them too much. You will fall one day.

I said that i will change my life, but i didn't
I said that i will drink less, but i didn't
I said that i will stop smoking, but i didn't

Whatever i had said, has not been done yet. I dunno when will it happen. Friends always doubt my sincerity in changing myself. They always think I'm just joking. But sometime I'm serious about it. They never take my words seriously.

Just came back from puffing sessions with kw, my, iz, des and dickson. It good that i pour all my past out, i feel better. But my past always left a scar in me. Since i have experience it, enough of all the nonsense that i done.

I never get to understand a relationship and I never want to have a relationship now. I always think that i must be financial stable first.
Career is always my priority. Maybe I'm just career minded. But that me.